The Twitter Candidate

The Twitter Candidate

It’s official, my friends.  Elizabeth Warren is the Twitter Candidate.

I long believed that Liz was the Candidate of White Suburban Women.  But upon perusing the exit polling after her crushing fourth place finish in New Hampshire, I concluded that there really is no demographic solidly behind the fake Indian.

At least not in the real world.

But now, after Nevada, Pocahasbeen’s elusive base of support has been found.

As things stand right now with only about 60% of the vote tallied (at this writing), Elizabeth Warren is a distant, distant fourth.

And who made up Pocahasbeen’s “strongest constituency?”


This may explain why, despite those awesome hashtags after Pocahasbeen roasted Bloomberg, she still couldn’t do better than fourth place.

Anybody with even a modicum of common sense could tell you pandering to the Twitterverse isn’t the best way to reach out to actual voters.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; Twitter is not real life.  When less than 10% of the population use Twitter on a regular basis, deciding to frame your presidential campaign on the whims and freak-outs of the Twitter ResistanceLOL isn’t particularly wise.

And while all the Democrat candidates seem to conflate Twitter opinion with real life, the Twitter Candidate has done it so completely, that this wee segment of the country is now her strongest and only constituency.

I pointed out after the Iowa Caucus that despite the emphasis placed on the Twitter ResistanceLOL among the Democrat candidates, NBC found that 80% of Iowa caucus-goers don’t use Twitter at all.


Yet this small percentage of Twitter users are dictating news cycles. More than that, they’re also dictating the entire Democrat agenda.

And therein lies the Democrats’ problem going into 2020.

They have stupidly spent the last three years believing that the raging hysterics on Twitter typified the average voter.

And nowhere is this more evident than with the Twitter Candidate herself.

Last month when Liz promised to have a trans kid pick her Secretary of Education, I wrote:

Outside of the folks on Twitter who put their pronouns in their bios or the editorial staff of Teen Vogue, is there any actual sentient human being whose voting decision hinges on whether or not a ‘trans kid’ gets to interview the nominee for Education Secretary?

Warren has been using Twitter to gauge what issues and causes she should advance.

And that’s just all manner of stupid.

And while I’m certain the Twitter Candidate would do well in a Twitter Poll, in real life she isn’t.

Liz has racked up three losses and is heading into South Carolina polling a very distant fifth place with only 6% support.

For Pete’s sake.  She’s in second place behind Bernie in her own state.

Even Klobuchar is polling on top in her home state.

The temporary high Pocahasbeen enjoyed after her shrill takedown on Bloomberg has already faded – as I knew it would:

Twitter was abuzz with cheers from the Warren Tribe. #PresidentWarren2020 and #WarrenfortheWin began trending.

Problem is, I don’t know if Pocahasbeen’s line of attack will have any positive effect on her polling.

Sure, it will be red meat for the dwindling number of voters who already like her. But I don’t know how much appeal it will have to the undecided Democrats.

So while jettisoning her “I’m the Unity Candidate” shtick to bludgeon Bloomberg will probably damage Bloomberg, I’m thinking it will also damage her.

But that’s the problem with being the Twitter Candidate.

You actually believe that the things that get you retweets are equally popular out here in the real world.

But Twitter isn’t the real world.

And the Twitter Candidate doesn’t seem to know what’s happening in the real world.

Which might explain why she proudly tweeted this message:

Oh, honey.  I think the chances that Trump debates you are zero.

It’s easy to play tough on Twitter.  But in real life you have to actually, you know, win a primary to get the nomination.

And if you lived in the real world and not the Twitter world you would understand that.

The Democrats have never understood Trump’s successful use of Twitter. He doesn’t use Twitter as a barometer; he uses it as a megaphone. Twitter is a tool to amplify his message to the American people and to go over the heads of the news media. It is a weapon he wields. He is not beholden to the Twitterverse. In fact, the Twitterverse is beholden to Trump.

And this is Warren’s fundamental flaw. She sees Twitter not as a tool, but as a barometer. She doesn’t wield Twitter; Twitter wields her. And her campaign is completely beholden to the Twitter ResistanceLOL.

Which probably explains why in the real world, the Twitter Candidate just keeps losing.

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9 thoughts on “The Twitter Candidate

  • February 23, 2020 at 1:01 pm

    I read a lot of Twitter “stuff” on Twitchy most every day for entertainment purposes. And it’s the amazing ignorance I see there that makes me know I will never, ever, ever use Twitter.

  • February 23, 2020 at 1:29 pm

    She has about as much chance of debating the president has Howard Dean had becoming one ….

  • February 23, 2020 at 2:01 pm

    Did she REALLY tweet “He ain’t that brave.”?
    Doesn’t she have a campaign jester to whisper things like “Refrain from words that could have a Native American connotation.” Or “Don’t try to use common vernacular. Everyone knows it’s fake.”

  • February 23, 2020 at 4:02 pm

    Trying to imagine Lizzy on a debate stage with DJT gave me the best laugh I’ve had this week. Of course it has no chance but if it did, 15 minutes into the first debate Liz would probably be in a fetal position in the corner mumbling about the patriarchy or some such, HA!

    Oh and Re: Howard Dean, as a Vermonter, when he started running for president the general feeling of us Green Mountain conservatives was: If you had a big painful pimple on your ass for ten years and you finally got rid of it, would you then vote to have it come back on your face?

  • February 23, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    No comment on irrelevant individuals, AKA Pocahasbeen!

  • February 24, 2020 at 12:05 am


  • February 24, 2020 at 7:10 am

    What’s Twitter?? Something a bird does after it flies into a window pane??

  • February 24, 2020 at 4:01 pm

    She is a delightful embarrassment. As in, I’m delighted she’s embarrassing herself.

  • February 24, 2020 at 9:22 pm

    He ain’t that brave. LMFAO!! Oh I would pay to see her debate President Trump. He would have her hysterical in the first 10 minutes. El jefe would wreck her so completely she’d have to go for walks in the woods with Hillary for months. Can’t we see this please?!?!?

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