Those who can’t … teach at Columbia

Those who can’t … teach at Columbia

You know the old saying, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach?” Well, failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton took that expression to heart, accepting a professorship at Columbia University.

Yup. Columbia is bringing Hillary on board as a professor at the School of International and Public Affairs. She will also serve as the presidential fellow at Columbia World Projects, which is odd since Hillary is neither presidential nor a fellow. But I guess naming her the Bitter Loser Gal would’ve been too on the nose.

How did a 2-time presidential loser manage to score such a position? Well, it probably helps that the president of Columbia, Lee Bollinger, is a personal friend who has known Hillary for three decades. Or at least that’s what he said when he announced her appointment.

But who’s he kidding?

Hillary Clinton doesn’t have any friends.

The people in Hillary’s orbit fall into two categories: the Useful and the Help.

Now, unlike Joe Biden, Hillary Clinton’s appointment isn’t symbolic. It will actually involve stepping into a classroom and teaching classes.

She will begin boring the wits out of Columbia’s student body starting in the fall.

Can you imagine having to sit in class for an hour listening to that shrill, nasal voice? Sweet merciful Zeus, I’d be plotting my escape route even before Hillary had a chance to open her gob and start droning.

Do you remember how Archie Bunker used to mime killing himself whenever Edith wouldn’t stop talking? That would be me in Hillary’s class.

What idiot would pay over sixty-five grand a year to attend a university that employs Hillary Clinton? I wouldn’t pay sixty-five bucks, let alone sixty-five grand.

Then again, I’m not Columbia University’s target audience, am I? I’m sure the slack-jawed gals racking up student loan debt to attend the supposed “prestigious” school are beside themselves with glee at the prospect of having Hillary as a professor.

How much do you want to bet at least 20% of them show up on the first day of class wearing “I’m With Her” T-shirts and buttons?

Come on, you know somebody will.

In fact, I’m sure at least one co-ed will come to class with one of Hillary’s many memoirs tucked away in a backpack on the outside chance Professor Clinton will sign it.

It is a well-known fact that for Democrats, failure is a resume-enhancer.

Stacey Abrams lost in 2018 and was floated as a possible running mate for Joe Biden not two years later.

Pete Buttigieg flames out in the 2020 primary because black people wouldn’t vote for him, and he was made Transportation Secretary, a job he does so badly that the media is floating him as a potential 2024 nominee if Grandpa Joe doesn’t run.

And Hillary Clinton lost an easy win election to Donald Trump and now as a reward for her failure, she will be a professor at Columbia University.

We really didn’t need more proof that “elite” universities are garbage. But here we are.

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9 thoughts on “Those who can’t … teach at Columbia

  • January 6, 2023 at 12:13 pm

    My sons and I came up with a moniker for the (un-) esteemed bitter biddy. We refer to her as a “haggadicious wench.” Kinda a non-sensical word for the “Edith Bunker of Presidential Politics.” But it fits in that she is such a non-sensical character.

    Love the Archie and Edith montage!

  • January 6, 2023 at 12:40 pm

    Her list of graduate level offerings should include “Advanced Grifting” and “How to Destroy Nations and Economies”. And, the people in Hitlery’s orbit occasionally fall into a third category. Those who potentially threaten her treasonous/criminal lifestyle and manage to shoot themselves in the back of the head two or three times.

  • January 6, 2023 at 12:59 pm

    “The people in Hillary’s orbit fall into two categories: the Useful and the Help”…
    Or, ….the Slick and the Dead.

    We can only hope her head explodes when she has to remember all the various pronouns, that is, if she ever does any actual teaching. She might be spotted waddling drunkenly around campus surrounded by her gov’t provided security detail but she won’t be in a classroom lecturing the next generation of screeching harpies

    • January 6, 2023 at 2:24 pm

      LOL! Yes, we can’t forget the always-growing Dead category.

      • January 6, 2023 at 5:33 pm

        Nope, and madam Secretary’s list is a distant second only to mayor “crime is down” Groot in the Windy City

  • January 6, 2023 at 2:15 pm

    “What idiot would pay over sixty-five grand a year to attend a university that employs Hillary Clinton?” Finally found a use for that failed “reset” button!
    (Remember HRC and Lavrov? “We worked hard to get the right Russian word. Do you think we got it?” she asked Lavrov, laughing. “You got it wrong,” said Lavrov, as both diplomats laughed. “It should be “perezagruzka” [the Russian word for reset],” said Lavrov. “This says ‘peregruzka,’ which means ‘overcharged.’”)

  • January 7, 2023 at 2:42 pm

    The people in Hillary’s orbit fall into THREE categories: the Useful , the Help and the DEAD.

    i fixed it for you

  • January 7, 2023 at 11:48 pm

    Just imagine the course offerings for Prof Clinton:

    How to get filthy rich from public office — Influence Peddling 201 + Commodities Trading 202
    How to deflect questions under oath — I Can’t Recall 303
    How to destabilize a foreign nation — Libya Studies 401

    The possibilities are endless.

    As for why, I see two reasons. The first is the grift, with Columbia acting as the vaguely plausible conduit for the laundered cash. (Book and Netflix deals have gotten a little obvious.) The second is so the Clinton machine can recruit some fresh bodies. Pickings have been slim lately for the machine so recruiting pros is tough, but I am sure there are some students at Columbia who are stupid/desperate/ideological enough to enlist on the “I’m With Her” team.

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