USA Today: Keeping America safe from “altered” images

Yesterday evening PatriotRetort.com got slammed with a tsunami of hits – all of which were heading toward three separate posts I’d done about Jill Biden. The influx was so intense, I almost changed the name of the site to SouthernBorderRetort.com. And what was the source of this unfettered flow of readers? USA Today.

Yup, USA Today, the newspaper made famous for doubling as a welcome mat outside hotel rooms.

You can imagine my surprise that a national paper like USA Today would have any interest in little old me. I’m as harmless as a kitten. But I was curious.

So I did a Duck-Duck-Go search on “PatriotRetort.com”+”Jill Biden” and limited the search to just Monday.

And there it was:

USA Today headline

Yeah. Now I know how the Babylon Bee feels.

The “controversy” erupted because someone posted this “altered” image on Facebook where it then got “over 400 shares.”

Oh, the HUMANITY!!!

Here’s the “altered” image:

Jill as Madonna.

In case you missed it, this image was made for my post “Dear First Lady: The 80s called; it wants its fashion back.”

What was their first clue that the image was “altered?” Could it have been the PatriotRetort.com watermark?

The hardnosed USA Today reporter then broke the frightening news that “other altered photos of Biden have previously been shared on the site.”

Could you imagine racking up $100K in student loan debt to go to J-School all in hopes of becoming the modern-day Edward R. Morrow, and this is the job you land — fact-checking an agitprop image by Dianny?

What a come-down.

Instead of covering “news,” you get stuck writing an article at USA Today “proving” that the offending image was “altered” by “an opinion blog with a right-wing bias and is rated mixed for factual reporting because of a lack of sourcing.”

What part of “opinion” do you not understand, honey? This might come as a galloping shock to USA Today, but opinion writing is, by definition, not factual reporting; it’s opinion for crap’s sake.

In rating the obvious ‘shop image “altered,” this crack reporter from USA Today concludes by writing:

An image claiming to show first lady Jill Biden wearing a 1980s costume is ALTERED, based on our research. The photo originated on a satirical conservative site that mocked Biden for wearing patterned tights. The original image shows a model posing in a Madonna costume.

Not just altered, mind you, but ALTERED.

I got news for USA Today. Images can’t “claim to show” anything. An image just sits there on the screen quiet as a church mouse.

Facebook has even flagged this Dianny Image with a warning:

Facebook flagged image

You’d have to be a slacked-jawed idiot to think this image was an attempt to “mislead” anyone. Honestly, is there nobody on the Left with a sense of humor?

I admit, I’m a little offended. This USA Today reporter had one job, and didn’t even get it right.

According to this fact-check, all I did was add Jill Biden’s head. But that’s not all I did. I also added the chest and arms of an old woman — complete with wrinkles and liver spots. Any dope with a photo editing feature could add her head. I go the extra mile. And, by golly! I deserve credit for that.

Want the kicker? USA Today even “reached out to the Facebook user for comment.” Heaven’s to Betsy, what a clown show.

Odd that nobody from USA Today reached out to me. Though, to be fair, if they had, I probably would have laughed myself silly. As it is, I laughed myself silly.

This much-needed USA Today fact-check was then picked up by msn.com and Yahoo News – which only goes to show the American news media is starved for something to do.

The upshot of this hard-hitting scoop is PatriotRetort.com has gained thousands of new readers who still possess a sense of humor.

Plus, it tickled me to no end.

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12 thoughts on “USA Today: Keeping America safe from “altered” images

  • April 13, 2021 at 8:11 am
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    Congratulations, you’ve made it big time when a major “so-called news” paper has fact-checked an obviously ALTERED image. I guess these major fact-checkers have to defend the honor of the Biden Family (Gropy Joe, Madonna Jill, and Crack Baby Hunter) no matter where.

  • April 13, 2021 at 8:34 am
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    “Honestly, is there nobody on the Left with a sense of humor?”

    Ziss iss Chaos. Ve don’t “ha-ha” here.

    h/t Maxwell Smart

  • April 13, 2021 at 9:03 am
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    I’m sorry to tell you this, but this is probably the first call to doxx you by bringing your site to the attention of trolls and hackers. This is what the MSM does to dissenters. They want them shut down and destroyed. I hope that I’m wrong, because I find great joy in your memes and writing. Your site is like a breath of fresh air in the increasingly fetid swamp of misinformation we must endure.

    • April 13, 2021 at 9:22 am
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      I am already a target for trolls and hackers which is why I spend a King’s ransom on Cloudflare security every month.

  • April 13, 2021 at 7:36 pm
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    I have been enjoying your work for many years. Part of my morning read (lunch when I was working). You truly find a way of expressing a lot of the things I see in our screwed up elites and ruling class jerks and do it in a manner which is very entertaining. It’s amazing that when you go “woke”and become a “SJW’ you loose all prespective on reality and completely loose your sense of humor. since we can’t blame Strontium 90 from fall out for this, iot must be the effects from CO2. Keep on trucking!

  • April 13, 2021 at 7:38 pm
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    Movin’ on up!

  • April 13, 2021 at 7:39 pm
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    Honestly, is there nobody on the Left with a sense of humor?

    Well, yes, but they laugh at highly inappropriate times, such as at people so unwoke and stupid as to call peaceful protests “riots”, or a white person strolling innocently along and getting sucker punched by a [RACIST EPITHET DELETED] and ending up with brain damage. They DO laugh at things like that.

  • April 13, 2021 at 7:41 pm
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    p.s. Dianny didn’t censor me. I put that [] bracketed term in on purpose, then realized it might be misconstrued.

  • April 13, 2021 at 8:23 pm
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    I think that the majority of the “fact-checkers” are not people born and brought up in the United States; it’s not a lack of humor, but a lack of understanding of the nuances/humor of the English language.

  • April 13, 2021 at 8:43 pm
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    Apparently, Jill Biden was not amused.

  • April 14, 2021 at 10:11 pm
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    ~~~~~~~ JACKPOT BAAABY!!~~~~~~~~~
    All Hail the Fact-Checked QUEEN of USA TODAY!!
    Thanks Dianny, for the biggest laugh I’ve had in a while! 😂
    I think that finally settles the debate ~ ~ the left really do not have
    a sense of humor —and apparently no brain either. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • April 16, 2021 at 12:02 am
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    You should add in small type above the watermark: “This image altered by:” (the watermark) Patriot Retort. Then when they pull shiite again, you’ll have twice the mocking power.

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