Washington Post imbues Trump with power over the seas

Washington Post makes Trump Poseidon

A hurricane is bearing down on the Carolina coast, and the Washington Post actually holds President Trump responsible.

The Washington Post has been trying to convince us for two years that President Trump is a incompetent boob.

And yet they want us to believe that he has power over the oceans?

That’s a pretty handy power to have, don’t you think?

Is he causing the gale force winds through the power of his man-breath?

Yesterday journalists were horrified that President Trump acknowledged the cheers of the crowd on his way to the 9/11 memorial in Pennsylvania by raising his fists.

Perhaps — and I’m just spit-balling here — but perhaps he was signaling the waves.

What do you think you oracles of the Washington Post? Could he have been signaling the waves?

Barbra Streisand blamed Trump for making her fat.

While Lena Dunham blamed him for making her lose weight.

Amazing that President Trump is so often imbued with such super-human powers by the very people who never tire of telling us what a bumbling, inept skin-sack he is.

These guys accuse us of being “cultists” who’ve turned Trump into our god.

But we’re not the ones giving our President preternatural power over the earth, the skies, the wind, the seas, and body fat, now are we?

I hate to burst your bubble, Washington Post. But President Donald Trump is only a man.

He can no more command the seas or Barbra Streisand’s BMI than I can.

Jesse Kelly is right. All you have to do is not be insane.

But you just can not do it.

And if the Washington Post really wants to restore faith in their reporting, turning the President into Poseidon isn’t the way to do it.

Hit the Tip Jar!

Every dollar makes a difference! Hit the DONATE button in the side bar. Or, set up a recurring monthly contribution by choosing SUBSCRIBE. If you cannot afford to contribute, please whitelist PatriotRetort.com in your ad-blocker. Ads help pay for this site. And, as a promise to you, the ads are not obnoxious or overbearing and will never interfere with your enjoyment of PatriotRetort.com.

Share, share, share

8 thoughts on “Washington Post imbues Trump with power over the seas

  • September 12, 2018 at 1:55 pm

    What’s even funnier (to me) is that they keep poking him with a rhetorical stick. They do know he could bring down “Wrath of God” levels of destruction on them, by their own admission?

  • September 12, 2018 at 2:22 pm

    Well, look at the economy and jobs. He does have that magic wand Bathhouse Barry talked about. LOL!

    • September 13, 2018 at 9:09 pm

      Magic wand. Lol. I believe that is referred to as a spine. Something the mocha messiah is lacking.

  • September 12, 2018 at 3:02 pm

    If only he would grow his hair and beard out like that – magnificent!

  • September 12, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    Yesterday Rush predicted that our President would get blamed for this hurricane.

  • September 12, 2018 at 8:46 pm

    and yet O’Stupid on the campaign trail in ’08 said if he was elected the ocean levels would fall and global warming would stop

  • September 14, 2018 at 11:41 pm

    Never make the stupid pagan mistake of calling a man a god. You bring upon yourself and that man the wrath of the only God Himself.

    “And upon a set day Herod, arrayed in royal apparel, sat upon his throne, and made an oration unto them. And the people gave a shout, saying, It is the voice of a god, and not of a man. And immediately the angel of the Lord smote him, because he gave not God the glory: and he was eaten of worms, and gave up the ghost.” Acts 12

    • September 15, 2018 at 6:06 am

      You do realize this is satire, right? I don’t really believe Trump is Poseidon. How could I? Poseidon isn’t real. Please tell me you know that Poseidon isn’t real. Nor is Neptune. It’s called “a joke.”

      I am making fun of the news media for believing he is powerful enough to control whether or not we have hurricanes.

      You know, I really shouldn’t have to explain this.

Comments are closed.