Your Friendly Neighborhood Stasi

Your Friendly Neighborhood Stasi

Tell me, friends. Have you be asked to join your friendly Neighborhood Stasi?

Wednesday I noticed that the deserted school playground up the hill from my house isn’t so deserted anymore.  I texted my brother and told him that the kids in my neighborhood must’ve gotten a little stir crazy from being shut in for a couple of weeks.  So they’re out on the playground in force.

Who could blame them?  You can’t keep kids cooped up for weeks, not when the spring weather is so nice.

On Thursday my brother texted me asking if the kids are still out on the playground, adding this surprising note:

“I guess you can call 911, and now they’ll send a patrol.”

I thought he was kidding.  Like the police around here don’t have better things to do than hassle kids on a playground.

He texted back:

“I read that 911 is inundated with nosy nellies ratting out any groups of 2 or more. So, enter Syracuse’s finest.”

I wanted to bang my head into a wall.  This couldn’t possibly be true.

But it was true.

What’s worse? They’re being instructed to do it.

I saw this headline at our ABC Affiliate’s website: “Onondaga County Executive Ryan McMahon advises calling 911 to report people who aren’t social distancing.”

That’s right.  Your own friendly neighborhood Stasi – encouraged to report their neighbors for standing too close to one another.

I’m sure Elizabeth Warren’s base of cul-de-sac busybodies are thrilled to take up the call and join the neighborhood Stasi.

But me?  That’ll be a pass from me.

But my neck of the woods isn’t the only area enlisting the neighborhood Stasi.

JK Tweet Neighborhood Stasi

And then there’s this from the Santa Clarita Valley Sheriff’s office in Southern California:

“Commonly asked question this week.”

In other words, some people are so eager to join the Neighborhood Stasi, they’re taking the initiative to find out how to do it even before a dictate comes down from on high.

In Michigan, the inept buffoon in the governor’s office handed down an edict of her own that prohibits doctors in her state from prescribing Hydroxychloroquine to patients with Wuhan virus.  You know, because Trump!!!!! In this edict, she also instructs doctors to tattle on any of their colleagues who refuse to obey her dictate.

So it isn’t just a neighborhood Stasi being conscripted to tattle.  Everybody has to get in on the act.  For your own good, don’t cha know.

Tyranny requires tattletales apparently.

I admit, I never thought I’d see the day when Americans were being instructed by local governments to enlist in this kind of neighborhood Stasi.

What’s worse to me, however, is that Americans – Americans for crap’s sake – are happy to do it.

And you can bet your bippy that quite a few people who happily volunteer for the friendly neighborhood Stasi are those who, for three years, have shrieked about Trump being an authoritarian dictator.

Here’s the thing.  The government officials who take to tyranny like a fish to water are also the ones least likely to comply with their own dictates.  It’s been that way from the beginning.

So while you’re holed up in your home watching your savings dwindle, unable to work or even go to church, know that many of your government leaders aren’t following the rules they’ve imposed on you.

Case in point:

Well of course he isn’t setting a good example.  It’s Bill de Blasio.

Dictates are for the rags and tatters, not for our government betters.

So while you are expected to join the friendly neighborhood Stasi, assholes like Bill de Blasio and his moocher wife can go anywhere they want.

This may be de Blasio’s or Elizabeth Warren’s idea of America.

But it sure as hell isn’t mine.

And it shouldn’t be yours either.

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16 thoughts on “Your Friendly Neighborhood Stasi

  • March 29, 2020 at 9:18 am

    My husband is a fire chief of a suburban fire department north of Chicago. Last week a woman threw a fit because her neighbor’s adult son works at a factory in town and his friend he works with might have COVID-19. The friend was self-quarantined at home. The factory had done a major disinfection and provided information to all employees on how to safely distance etc. She wanted our police and village to order this factory to close down, because she felt it wasn’t an essential service and her neighbor was afraid that her son would now get the disease and the workers would infect our town. She started a petition to make the factory close down. Suddenly all the nuts they knew and others nationally began calling the village and the fire department to make the factory close. Our village manager was actually looking into how our village could force the factory to close. This is the level of craziness we now live in.

    • March 29, 2020 at 9:24 am

      Holy crap. I blame this level of hysteria on the news media. They’re turning people into psychos.

      • March 29, 2020 at 8:18 pm

        OFFICIAL NOTICE: Your reluctance to enthusiastically comply with established public healthcare directives has been noted in your permanent record. We will continue to monitor your compliance in the months ahead and may contact your friends and neighbors in pursuit of proper diligence. The penalties for violation of these standards can be quite severe, including reclassification ranging from Icky Person status all the way to Class IV Antisocial Republican status.

        Adjustment in your personal attitudes is strongly recommended if you know what’s good for your future. This is your first warning.


      • March 29, 2020 at 9:10 pm


  • March 29, 2020 at 10:04 am

    How long before some local crank mayor or demented governor declares Prima Nocta?

  • March 29, 2020 at 10:30 am

    Notice that, when this was just beginning, when it was some people on the right calling for caution, shutting down travel and borders and other requests, there was nothing but defiance and mockery. But, when it’s people on the left calling for it, defiance is met with the force of violence! So many so eager to screw anyone and everyone, ESPECIALLY if it’s a right winger.
    Tell me these very same idiots wouldn’t cheer at the opening of death camps and gladly work for the cause.

  • March 29, 2020 at 11:25 am

    Okay. okay, let me see if I have this right => these same people who wont allow law enforcement to arrest criminal illegal aliens, are now making the police chase kids out of playgrounds? If there ever was a reason to use the phrase “WTF?”, this has to be it.

    • March 30, 2020 at 1:54 am

      Wait, oh yeah. Kids don’t vote


  • March 29, 2020 at 12:50 pm

    You wanna see stasi in action online?
    Join NextDoor.

  • March 29, 2020 at 12:51 pm

    Great image, btw.

    • March 29, 2020 at 1:08 pm

      Thanks. It’s the mask that clinched it.

  • March 29, 2020 at 12:55 pm

    Well, it appears the Elites have accomplished what they’ve wanted all along – complete control of every aspect of the citizenry: you shall do only what WE want you to do, go only where WE want you to go, when WE allow you to; resistance or disobedience shall not be tolerated.

    F ‘em! I have no intention of being their slave.

  • March 29, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    The Obama admin.asked people to send the names and addresses of those who bitched about Obama care.

  • March 29, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    Meli: “Great image, btw.”
    Dianny: “Thanks. It’s the mask that clinched it.”

    It really is. I kind-of brushed past the image first, then when I looked again, I thought, how clever and deceptively simple this is. (I’ve seen many, mostly worse, med-masks-airbrushed on.)

    (The one with the Rolling Stones and only Keith had no mask was pretty well done.)

  • March 29, 2020 at 9:26 pm

    I’m leaning towards marketing six-foot “Social Distancing” poles to every one of those mask-wearing buffoons I see walking through the stores. Thinking around $29.99 each, and I’ll throw in a roll of 3-ply arsewipe to each customer.

  • March 30, 2020 at 10:45 pm

    I had to be in New Haven CT this week and on the way to the airport this morning I passed a playground. It took me by surprise, briefly, that there was that yellow tape/ribbon that they use to keep people from going into areas like crime scenes, etc, all over the swings, jungle gyms, and so on. It was a cold “ah ha” moment for a guy who doesn’t live in the Demo part of the country, anymore. I thought : “F – me dead!” they are really cordoning the kids off the playground? I say == find out who did this and make them move in with the hilda bitch or lizzy bordan.

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